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Monday, September 15, 2014

Days Since

from my Dreamdays app
It has been 3000 days since I was diagnosed with Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma. There has been a lot of life in those 3000 days: the world has turned, children have reached adulthood, relationship with my dear husband has deepened, renewed and strengthened connections to friends and family, said farewell to friends and family that have died before me, watched as 8 years worth of health professionals graduated to their next level, watched sunrises and sunsets... I think you get the gist.
I don't generally count the days. It has been great counting years (8 and growing) and looking forward to counting by decades soon. I do wonder though, why I have been able to see 6000 sunrises and sunsets, while others with this crappy cancer didn't, even though we went through similar treatment protocols. There is just too much not yet known about cancer in general and adenoid cystic carcinoma in particular. I will continue to save money as if I was going to live to be 100 (according to Dreamdays, only a mere 17,000 days to go), and look forward to retirement (approximately 5300 days left.) I don't have a clue as to when my last day here will be. Until it arrives, I want to embrace this life for all its worth. Here's to future adventures that will no doubt be recorded on these pages.

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Saw this CNN post-had to comment: "My cancer is worse than your cancer?"

Thanks to Geraldine Moriba for both the article ( and the upcoming documentary called "Until 20". She had sarcoma, which she survived. In the article, she mentions having "survivor's guilt":

"This is the guilt that can occur when someone survives a traumatic event that others do not, such as accidents, war, natural disasters and even illnesses like cancer. Guilt is
Me in Germany in 1985
a complicated emotion."

This is  something I too have experienced, especially after noting the deaths of so many of my fellow Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma wearers, while I keep on keeping on. Her words that spoke to me the most though:

"I have no patience with "my cancer is worse than your cancer" conversations. Cancer is not a competition. Cancer causes us all pain, and having a rare cancer is exponentially devastating, because there is so little research being done. The only remedy is banding together to create awareness and pushing for research funding."

Thank you for your words, Ms. Moriba, and for continuing to find purpose in your experience. And my forever thanks go to those that raise money for the research into stopping my own personal rare cancer. Some of them I have learned about and shared before (let me know additional ones you learn about, please):

Live Like Andi Foundation

Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma Research Foundation

Attack ACC

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