Post-Schrödinger's cat - not cancer, still tired from living "as if"

 Very happy and excited to report that the samples they took while I snoozed were both benign. The day I got the call from the surgeon and the day after - it was like I was Scrooge after being visited by the three ghosts, waking up and finding out I have been given a second chance. I went through the most dramatic right tonsillectomy and pharyngeal biopsy and am set free to keep on keeping on. I am grateful for all of the tsunami waves of support from my friends, family, colleagues, and people I only know on social media - all your words and messages mattered. So now I go back to living "as if", which gets real tiring as anyone with a chronic condition like cancer knows. I go through my days "as if" things are normal (by now, after 19 years, it is mostly memory of what normal was); "as if" I am not experiencing treatment side effect pain (hey, I paid a lot for that headache and facial nerve damage); "as if" I can meet all of my responsibilities and scheduled activities on my personal and work calendars (really, everyone is walking around with that one, since at any time something can happen that will impact our continuing "as if" things are normal). My bosses were empathetic, asking what they could do to help, and at the time, I couldn't think of anything. Something has come to mind that might help you if you are a boss of someone that is working "as if" - and we all are, "as if" we are not experiencing physical or emotional pain, or we are trying to maintain focus on the job "as if" we aren't worrying about family members, or we are wearing a confident front "as if" we aren't afraid for personal or family members' safety. If you are a boss/leader/administrator/team mate of any fellow human, be brave and consider asking them if there is something they do that does not bring them joy and take that off their shoulders while they are going through the most stressful times. I say "be brave", because you may end up being the person that takes on that unjoyful duty for a time. Just recognize please when you assign new duties to your team member that is facing a bigger situation than usual, and ask if this can be added to their list or if they have reached their limit and the "as if" facade will crack with the additional workload. Personally, I feel like I should get paid hazard pay for working full time through all that this summer.

Kaleidoscope image

Knowing my supervisor and dean are loving managers kept me going even while forcing my "as if" normal actions all summer as I wondered what Freeloading Frank was up to, then those last awful two weeks as I faced the procedure and then waited for the results. They have a long history of keeping myself and my fellow library humans in mind when considering how we are going to meet the mission in the best way. I wish anyone facing personal issues to have bosses like mine. This counts for all the way up the university chain of command, too - could be because our leaders are healthcare and research professionals that have gone through some hard stuff of their own and recognize human feelings and abilities.

I expect to be silent on personal health issues for a while as I get back in the groove of regular work along with the extra work of preparing to retire this spring. Cheering for all of us as we face each day "as if" things are normal, no matter what abnormal things we are hauling around or living through. Remember #HumansWin.