What a 20 years this has been!

 20 years since initial cancer diagnosis and treatment. Never thought I would be typing that when I was first diagnosed, but here I am. I guess if I had any enemies or presumed loved ones that had been wishing for my early demise back in 2006, they are disappointed (I can see the superhero screenplay now...). It has been 4 months since I and my wonderful husband retired from UNMC. The days have been spent on a few chores that were sidelined when work was prioritized over the last 40 years or so: recovering from burnout, and going through and shredding files so our kids don't have to when we finally die. I feel lucky that I get to review files of my work and life with my husband by my side. We have had a good time reflecting on the sacrifices we mad and the outcomes (sometimes successful, other times 'learning opportunities', oh my). We have shared with our grown kids files and photos that we thought would mean something to them, one plastic tub each so as not to overwhelm them in their current working life modes. I have a box of Germany things that I used (with Manuela Sheldon, how I miss her!) to teach the Armed Services YMCA class for Fort Sill U.S. Army folks on what to expect when they landed in West Germany in 1989-90. I am grateful to have this moment as a retired Professor to remember that first teaching class (worked for free with Manuela, her sharing the German side of culture and me sharing the US Army side, telling the truth and preparing people for successful transition to living in Europe). Amazing what my life has thrown at me and how I have adjusted to challenges (I know, researchers reading this, survivor bias!). 

Same time I am shredding early journals and classroom materials and calendar diaries that covered two continents, I see a news item about a discovery of a new Mozart notebook.  Yeah, thanks to an overworked shredder, there won't be any discoveries of Cheeky Librariab materials made next year or 200 years from now. Turns out, I am not that big of a deal, even though I think I am fantastic and noteworthy 👸. I have saved one box of items that no AI or internet site has swallowed up, so the grandkids can know a bit more about the crazy grandma they had when they were little. In the meantime, I am enjoying real time with them and the rest of our family with no grading or class preparation competing with hugs and PBJ sandwiches. 

No one knows how many years any of us have on this earth. I have enjoyed all of mine, especially that last 20 years that I did not take for granted. I have reached a point in my life as a cancer survivor where I catch myself being impatitent with someone in the car in front of me on Omaha streets - then it hits me that issue is tiny compared to bigger things that could and have happened. Hug your loved ones, enjoy tasting your food, and sit in the sun or rain. In other words, all of us should keep living, no matter what our days hold.